{"title":"Honey \u0026 Hellfire","description":"\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"For when ‘vibes’ aren’t enough—you need a flame and a statement.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e100% beeswax candles for:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003eThe sigh you stifle in meetings\u003cbr\u003eThe \"fuck this\" you mutter in traffic\u003cbr\u003eThe middle finger you wish you could give the world\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e🐝 WHY BEESWAX?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNatural honey scent\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e(sweetness to balance your spite)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSlow-burning\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e(like your patience)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRaised profanity \u0026amp; sculpted defiance\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e(no subtlety here)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"The only candle my therapist approves of.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– @OverItAndUnderpaid\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"burn-it-all-down-politely","title":"Burn It All Down (Politely)","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"453\" data-end=\"584\"\u003eYou don’t always have to say it out loud.\u003cbr data-start=\"494\" data-end=\"497\"\u003eSometimes, you can just light the middle finger on fire and let the wax do the talking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"586\" data-end=\"842\"\u003eThis is \u003cem data-start=\"594\" data-end=\"623\"\u003eBurn It All Down (Politely)\u003c\/em\u003e — a 100% beeswax candle shaped like the universal gesture of “kindly fuck off.” Unscented, clean-burning, and just a little too satisfying to light, this candle isn’t here to be subtle. It’s here to make a statement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"844\" data-end=\"1063\"\u003ePerfect for rage rituals, emotional resets, breakup altars, or just a polite nod to whoever pissed you off this week, this candle is the kind of petty self-care that smells faintly of rebellion and honey (thanks, bees).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1065\" data-end=\"1187\"\u003eMade for the goths, the queers, the over-it, and the dangerously well-mannered. Light it up. Watch it melt. Feel better.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1189\" data-end=\"1259\"\u003eBecause healing sometimes looks like setting a symbolic finger ablaze.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1189\" data-end=\"1259\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Spitewick","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42427978874941,"sku":"MiddleFinger","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0623\/1946\/0413\/files\/Finger_Grass_Sign_Low_Rez.jpg?v=1750703112"},{"product_id":"subtle-as-a-brick","title":"Subtle as a Brick","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"423\" data-end=\"462\"\u003eSome candles whisper. This one doesn’t.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"464\" data-end=\"789\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"464\" data-end=\"485\"\u003eSubtle as a Brick\u003c\/strong\u003e is a hand-poured beeswax candle that delivers its message with elegance, edge, and just enough sting to make you smile. Sculpted into a soft, modern wave and stamped in raised black lettering that reads \u003cstrong data-start=\"689\" data-end=\"704\"\u003e“fuck off,”\u003c\/strong\u003e it’s the kind of décor piece that keeps the energy clear and the expectations lower.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"791\" data-end=\"976\"\u003eNo fragrance. No florals. Just raw, golden wax with a faint honeyed note and a blunt refusal to tolerate nonsense. It's your boundaries — made visible, flammable, and quietly luxurious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"978\" data-end=\"1149\"\u003ePlace it at your desk to ward off interruptions. Keep it near the front door like a spiritual bouncer. Or gift it to a fellow chaos gremlin who deserves some sacred space.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1151\" data-end=\"1211\"\u003eIt's not just a candle. It's a beautifully burning boundary.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Spitewick","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42427985625149,"sku":"FUCKOFF","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0623\/1946\/0413\/files\/Fuck_Off_Book_Low_Rez.jpg?v=1750703058"},{"product_id":"oh-shit-its-lit","title":"Oh Shit, It's Lit","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"396\" data-end=\"456\"\u003eSome days start with a vibe. Others start with an “oh shit.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"458\" data-end=\"478\"\u003eThis candle gets it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"480\" data-end=\"756\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"480\" data-end=\"521\"\u003eCrisis Management, But Make It Candle\u003c\/strong\u003e is your handcrafted, beeswax-sculpted moment of panic... preserved in soft curves and solid boundaries. The words “oh shit” are raised in customizable lettering across a gentle wavy form — because chaos deserves elegant packaging too.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"758\" data-end=\"996\"\u003eThere’s no scent, no synthetic crap — just 100% natural beeswax with that faint honeyed sweetness only the bees can bless us with. It's unscented on purpose. Because when you're spiraling, the last thing you need is lavender lying to you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"998\" data-end=\"1175\"\u003eLight it during an existential crisis. Gift it to a friend who just got ghosted, fired, or publicly humbled. Or keep it as a desk totem to remind you that you’ve survived worse.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1177\" data-end=\"1249\"\u003eNot all chaos can be controlled. But some of it can be contained in wax.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Spitewick","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42427990868029,"sku":"","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0623\/1946\/0413\/files\/Oh_Shit_Grass_low_Rez.jpg?v=1750703009"},{"product_id":"one-love-many-wards","title":"One Love, Many Wards","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"487\" data-end=\"569\"\u003eYou can mean it when you say “One Love.”\u003cbr data-start=\"527\" data-end=\"530\"\u003eYou can also mean it \u003cem data-start=\"551\" data-end=\"569\"\u003ewith conditions.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"571\" data-end=\"947\"\u003eThis candle is an invocation — a quiet offering to the people you protect fiercely, and the values you refuse to compromise on. Hand-poured from 100% pure beeswax, \u003cstrong data-start=\"735\" data-end=\"759\"\u003eOne Love, Many Wards\u003c\/strong\u003e carries its message in soft waves and bold raised lettering. It glows like intention. It burns like hope. And it smells — faintly — like sweetness that wasn’t asked for, but freely given.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"949\" data-end=\"1073\"\u003eThis isn’t love as branding. It’s love as protection. It’s messy, feral tenderness in a world that wants you to flatten out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1075\" data-end=\"1186\"\u003eKeep it on your altar. Gift it to your ride-or-die. Light it when you're fighting to stay soft in a hard world.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1188\" data-end=\"1241\"\u003eWe’re not selling a sentiment. We’re casting a spell.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Spitewick","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42427995619389,"sku":"","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0623\/1946\/0413\/files\/One_Love_Sign_Low_Rez.jpg?v=1750702917"},{"product_id":"customer-service-face","title":"Customer Service Face","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"492\" data-end=\"523\"\u003eIt smiles. It swears. It burns.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"525\" data-end=\"681\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"525\" data-end=\"553\"\u003eCustomer Service Face\u003c\/strong\u003e is a deceptively cheery little beeswax candle shaped like a classic smiley face — until you get close enough to read the mouth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"683\" data-end=\"716\"\u003eSpoiler: it doesn’t say “cheese.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"718\" data-end=\"987\"\u003eThis is a candle for the people still holding it together \u003cem data-start=\"776\" data-end=\"808\"\u003ewith curse words and charisma.\u003c\/em\u003e Hand-poured from 100% pure beeswax and unscented by design, it glows with a soft gold light and a faint honey scent — the kind of sweetness that comes right before the breakdown.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"989\" data-end=\"1219\"\u003eKeep it on your desk as a silent protest. Gift it to the customer service rep in your life. Light it when you’re done pretending. This isn’t your average feel-good candle — it’s weaponized positivity with a built-in exit strategy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1221\" data-end=\"1283\"\u003eBecause not every meltdown looks like fire… but this one does.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Spitewick","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42427998830653,"sku":"","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0623\/1946\/0413\/files\/Fuck_Smiley_Face_Book_Low_Rez.jpg?v=1750702926"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0623\/1946\/0413\/collections\/FingerBacklowRez.jpg?v=1750632569","url":"https:\/\/www.spitewick.com\/collections\/honey-hellfire.oembed","provider":"Spitewick","version":"1.0","type":"link"}